Not Me, Not Naomi Clark Pt:5a
by RyanJMichaels90210
Summary: Okay so this story is almost done. I'm having so much fun writing this with lots of maternity leave time on my hand...oh yea! ily Jackson Talen Michaels Jr!


**CHAPTER 5**

_Naomi turns to the mirror and stares at the girl she is now. Her eyes water, her face frowns, she tries not to cry but this time it can't go away. The scream echoes loudly as she lets out raining tears. She's literally standing, looking into the mirror, while crying her eyes out. A cry she's been putting off since that night. That awful night._

Naomi makes her escape from Ryan Jessica's apartment. She walks along the beach where her bike is near. The night sky is beautiful. Everything about the air this night was past perfection. Crisp, cool, and a postcard for paradise in California. Naomi only notices the dark things. There was a homeless man sleeping under a lifeguard towel. She hears a couple arguing loudly from somewhere near as their baby cries. She was tired. Sleeping was foreign to Naomi. As she gets closer to her bike, she feels her legs turn to jello. Sleep deprivation, nightly alcohol consumption, lack of nutritional food, and now drug intake has all caused Naomi's next incident. The incident that occurs as she struggles to get to her bike. Naomi's head hits the pavement parkinglot so hard that it causes her to bleed. Her elbow is scraped as a result of trying to break her nasty fall. She lies there, unconscience with skin pale and blue. She appears to be dead.

"Naomi? O My God, Naomi!" Naomi tries to open her eyes to see the familiar voice that calls her name. She's been lying in that same place all night. The sun is rising over the ocean, which is a beautiful sight. The blood drips from her head as the guy lifts her up to visually examine her. "Li, Liam?" Liam holds Naomi while looking in her eyes. "Are you hurt?" He tries to figure out what may have happened to Naomi. "I think I fell, and I. I hit my head", she tries to reach for the back of head but Liam stops her. "I'm gonna take you to the hospital." Liam manages to pick her up and carries her to his car.

"What the hell, Naomi?" Jen demands answers from her little sister as they sit around their house. Jen is pacing, agitated, unhinged, upset, and unsettled. Naomi just lies on the chase holding a bag of ice against the back of her head. She's on pain pills and isn't taking in anything Jen says. "The acting out for attention thing does not work with me. And if you're trying to get our mother's attention, you should stop wasting your time..." Jen is baffled at the state of Naomi. She is completely run down and Jen can tell that Naomi's been going through hell, wherever she's been. Naomi wonders why Jen would even care to address her lifestyle. "Careful Jen. It almost sounds like you care." Jen rubs her stomach trying to ignore her fears of whatever Naomi went through. She sits next to Naomi and they stare at one another for minutes. Naomi wonders if Jen's suddenly turned into Mother Theresa and Jen is more convinced that Naomi's in trouble.

_**Oh I know there's a story to tell, about this girl, this sad girl. Hear her screams at night, she never sleeps at night. Someone destoyed her faith, someone put out her light. Tell me your secret, tell me your secret, tell me it all.**_

Now it was night. Jen has managed to alienate Naomi's friends, including Liam, as he sister slept the day away. Wild horses could not keep Silver, Ade, and Annie away from Naomi any longer. They arrive just as Naomi awakes from her extended and much needed rest. Jen is gone. Naomi has no idea where Jen is but she is glad to wake in peace. Without Jen's nagging. Silver rings the doorbell as Ade and Annie stands behind waiting for someone to answer the door. Naomi hears the doorbell. "Jen!" She calls out for her sister but no answer. _What if it's Liam?_ The thought of Liam saving her warms her cold heart.

"Silver, Annie. Ade..."Naomi's beginning to regret getting up and answering the door. For some reason, she hates the sight of her friends and they were beginning to sense that. "Can we come in?" Ade asks. "Yea, yea, sure. Come in." Annie watches Naomi's body language. She slouches in her walk and holds her head down. Silver is still miffed at Naomi's entire mood. She's grumpy, sullen, withdrawn, and dissassociated. Ade is more focused on her apperance. Her hair was brown in the top because the roots grew out longer. The end of her hair, her longer locks, was still platinum blonde. She was wearing light grey sweat pants with a white wife beater. The circles around her eyes were still visible but since her nap, she seems to be getting her color back.

Naomi lounges back onto the chase, Silver sits by her feet, and Ade and Annie sit on the other sofa. "Nae, what's going on with you?" Ade doesn't beat around the bush. "What are you talking about nothing's going." Annie senses Naomi's uncomfortability. "Seriously Naomi? There is something, going on. We can tell, okay." Silver's tone reveals that she was determined to get through to Naomi tonight. Naomi paints a smile on her face. "Guys, I'm fine..I", Silver interupts. "So skipping school and losing your chance of ever getting into C.U is fine? You're fine with that?"When Silver addresses C.U, Naomi realizes that she's forgotten all about C.U. It made her feel more down. "We saw that girl..you were with. I know her Naomi. I mean I may have heard some things about her and she's not someone you should hang with." Annie's respond couldn't of set Naomi's temper any higher. "Oh my God, seriously. Annie, you don't even know her. You guys have no idea. " Naomi grows weary of their self righteousness. "I do know her. That day after I ran over Joe Herman, she was the one who fixed my car and when I got there. There were major drugs just lying on the ground. She was using." Naomi doesn't care.

"Is it Liam? The breakup, you're not over him, are you." Ade looks for answers but Naomi's head turns gives her false hopes on any results. "Why should I care about school or about college. I'm almost 18, I'll have enough money to live on." Naomi snaps and Silver is surpised at her statement. "Are you hearing yourself right now Nae, this is not you. You're Naomi Clark. You live for independence. Living off of some trust fund, its just. It's not you, it's not who you are." Naomi feels tears coming but tries to fight it, along with any other buried emotions. She isn't thinking clearly as her three best friends, from a life she tries to forget, stare at her for reason. For explanation. For clarity. Hoping and praying that Naomi isn't lost forever.

"Who I am? You don't know who I am, Silver. None of you." Naomi's heart beat fast as she feels determine to spill everything out loud, without caring about the consequences. Jen stumbles in slowly and the girl's don't realize that she's there. "You're our best friend, and we miss you, and we just really want to know what's going on. So we can, get you back. Whatever it is, we are all here." Ade pleads with Naomi. "She's right Nae. Whatever it is." Silver assures Naomi and takes her hand.

You don't mind me holding your hand do you? Cannon's voice echoes in Naomi's head. She watches as Silver holds her hand and flashes back to that night. The flash is instant and it goes away quickly. However, it freaks Naomi out, causing her to jerk her hand away from Silver. "Don't touch me." Naomi hops up and there's fear in her eyes. Silver, Ade, and Annie stare at Naomi not knowing what to say. Naomi shakes her head as her tears fall out of her eyes. "Okay, you are wrong! There are things...things that can happen and, and it can change you. Like seriously change you. And duh, I knew that. I know that." Naomi is babbling and they are all hearing her but in Naomi's mind, she's speaking to herself. She's trying to tell herself these things, subconsciously. "But. Then. Then some things, awful things. Really really awful things destroy you. Like it kills you. I didn't. I didn't know that," she tells herself. Her words are coming out unclear due to her extensive crying. "Naomi Clark is dead. And she isn't coming back. I know. I know that I'm? I know that I'm alive but I feel like I died."

Naomi realizes that she's gone too far. She was thinking out loud. She wasn't thinking at all because if there was anything she didn't want, it was seeing her best friends face after an involuntary meltdown. Silver and Ade glance at one another, both mortified to see their head strong friend in distress. Annie turns around as Jen walks into the living room in a state of shock. "Naomi?" Jen and Naomi lock eyes. It was almost as if Jen's eyes implored Naomi to confess what she's hiding.

"I didn't. No one will believe me. It doesn't matter." Naomi begins to choke on her words while trying hard to stop all of the crying. "It does to us. Nae?" Silver's all so concerning voice. "But I lied, before. And he..he..told me that I? That I cried..." she swallows the empty feeling in her stomach. Her face is flushed and she stressfully pulls her hair back. "Who's..who's gonna belie-Believe you..That I cried wolf.." Silver looks at Jen as her little sister stands fragilly in an obvious need of a hug. Jen catches Silver's motion but turns her head refusing to hug Naomi. Silver annoyingly looks away from Jen and rushes to Naomi. The hug Silver gives Naomi is a warmth she needed. As she embraced her disoriented, Silver becomes plagued with worry as Naomi's body shakes unruling. The girl was crumbling.

"Sweetie, come here." Silver takes Naomi to sit back down on the chase. "Just breathe, okay. Just breathe so we can understand you clearly." Naomi inhales but her tears continue to fall. After a taking a few breaths, Naomi's pressure simmers. "." That name leaves a pungent taste in her mouth. Silver's blue eyes gazes into Naomi's lost green eyes and pivots in despair. Annie looks at Jen who's rage is slowly but secretly commencing. Adriana's skin crawl considering the dismay of Naomi's silent ordeal. Naomi puts her head in her lap then takes a long pause. _Just tell them._ Looking up in a rather slow motion, Naomi addresses Jen, Silver, Ade, and Annie with her eyes. ", he? He raped me." Her eyes roll in disgust and she dreads to look at anyone. Because, it's out. Now the question is, will they believe her?

Feedback people!

Honestly. I hope the writers at 90210 turn Naomi's character into this chick I'm making her... If so she can survive and be more FIERCE...

TO BE CONT...


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